i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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