I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
