i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
