We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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