okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
