please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
