I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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