remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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