We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
