You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
