just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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