i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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