Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
