guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We smell like vodka and hangover
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