Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
