she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
