some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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