My brain says no but my pants say off.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
