Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
