am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
