Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
