FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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