If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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