i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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