I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
