This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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