My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
