the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He felt like a one man threesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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