Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
