you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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