why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
