So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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