Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
