i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You are a genius and a whore.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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