Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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