new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
