I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
