16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
