just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I look better un-naked...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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