I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
