And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
