Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
