I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
