I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
