it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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