Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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