Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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