the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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