I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize