dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
