dude i'm inner monologue high
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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